I'm writing this with 24 days to go before I marry my favorite person in the world. I haven't made a whole lot of internet mention of my engagement or impending nuptials, but it is the biggest thing I've ever done, so it might just deserve a blog post or two.
When I first got engaged, people kept asking me if I was excited about it. I was never sure how to respond, because though I was excited to marry Derek, it wasn't exactly that patented giddy feeling that makes you giggle and walk around unable to think about anything else. The whole concept of wearing a diamond on my finger actually seemed rather surreal. I often feel this way with major events that I've anticipated my whole life. I always recognize that I am in the middle of something that I know is significant, but it never seems to exactly match up to whatever weird feelings of excitement that I imagined that I would have.
But, as our wedding date fast approaches, and the two of sit on my couch talking about the details of the big (read: expensive) party that we are throwing to celebrate it, I look at him and get really excited for many, many nights just like that, in patient discussion of whatever adventure the two of us are working on next. It still isn't a giddy excitement, per se - more of an overwhelming feeling of being with the right person who just fits me, and loving that we have an entire lifetime and eternity to be together. He is wonderful, and I am so, so lucky.
I was showing my mom pictures over the weekend of when Derek and I first met, in 2005. She said "What? We could have been doing this whole wedding thing five years ago?" I look at those pictures and know that at the time we were both still exploring other things, maybe not totally ready to let go of our single lives and the freedom that came from being unattached. Our friendship took its sweet time developing into what it is now, but let me tell you - I'm so excited to marry this man, and I'm not even upset that I'm not a Single Lady anymore.
(engagement photo by the ever-talented Aubrey Trinnaman, backdrop handdrawn by Dan and I)
