re: Red Vine Birthdays

Problem: Sometimes your friend has a birthday and wants to throw a dessert party on his roof, but he doesn't believe in eating anything other than red vines. In fact, he hates things with frosting and won't even listen to you when you tell him that his idea of dessert will make most people cry. What do you do?

1) Probably you should unwittingly dress exactly like your roommate aubrey and show up at the same party together. Appropriate uniform would be matching leather jackets with hoods, long shirts over skinny jeans, and moccasins.

2) Plan a creative menu involving as many red vines as possible. "Sushi" rolls made of red vines, rice krispy treats and fruit rolls ups are probably perfect. "High Fructose Corn Syrup Covered Cupcakes" are also acceptible.

3) Distract the birthday boy by sending pretty ladies over to take photos with him.

4) While he is distracted you can pull out a frosting covered cake and eat it before he realizes that not everything at his dessert party has incorporated red vines.

5) Beat eachother up.

(that should probably happen after any good party)