re: Danger is my Middle Name

Everyone knows that standing by dangerous things makes people look sexier. I don't know why this is - maybe it is something in the contrast of the exciting and dangerous and the soft and beautiful - but James Bond uses that old trick over and over. Shiny metal gun in one hand, sexy girl in the other.

I went to Puerto Rico by way of Miami a few weeks ago, and had the chance to encounter some dangerous wildlife while I was traveling. I saw an alligator, and remembered that being close to something that could kill you can make you look sexy, so I really tried to work that angle as much as possible.

Do you see how that snake that might strangle me at any second? So sexy!

It is important to remember that the trick only works if you look like you don't care that you are standing next to something dangerous. Crying isn't sexy.

We tried hard to risk our lives constantly during the vacation to keep looking as sexy as possible. This photo was taken right after we went diving with jellyfish and huge lobsters. That is why Derek's back looks so good to you right now.

Almost falling out of a palm tree to your death can be sexy.

And jumping on the beach in your speedo for an hour until your friend gets the perfect sunset shot of you?

That is dangerous for a whole lot of reasons. And therefore ... pretty sexy.

re: Happy Christmas

Holiday traditions are in full swing.

Watched Tom Goes to the Mayor? check.


And the new Flight of the Conchords is out too. Merry Christmas indeed.

re: a Preview

My big Red Carpet Birthday party was this week, and though we are still working on getting all the photos viewable, I wanted to give you a sneak peak of the awesome:



This party was so much fun for me - thank you to everyone who submitted films and came all fancied out!

re: Fantasies

For every "you be the stable boy, I be the milk maid" fantasy that I might entertain, I probably have at least three much more boring (but strangely satisfying) fantasies where the past men in my life that have somehow wronged me come back to me to apologize, telling me how wrong they were and how they still think about me. Lamenting that they ever let me go! What fools they were to think that they were ever going to find anything better out there! (Usually at this point I also imagine them on their contrite knees, faces twisted into a grimace that can only be caused by the unimaginable pain my absence in their life has caused them).

Usually this is the song that is playing in the background.

And then, in response to that (at least in my fantasy) Beyonce and I put on our french cut leotards and do a punching dance while running around in a circle together.

Probably this is the song that is playing in the background.

At least my fantasies have good soundtracks.

re: YADHTRIB YPPAH

My mom called me yesterday and said "I know what you were doing 30 years ago." Because it was my birthday! My Golden Birthday.

And even though I have a ridiculous party coming up next week, my SF friends still decided to throw me a little dinner party on my real birthday too. Because they are great.

My birthday was awesome for three reasons.

1) My party banner got assembled backwards. (thank you, juliann)


2) When I walked in to the party, everyone was wearing these really, really creepy looking masks of the top half of my face. (Sarah and Tom, creepy to the max)


3) My traditional birthday Frangipan almost lit Brant's apartment on fire.

(the lighting of the "special candles")

(the presentation)

(the excitement!)

(the fire alarm goes off)

(the apartment fills with smoke and sparks start burning holes in couches. excitement turns to mild panic)

(the whole frangipan is covered with a crunchly layer of burnt, crispy fireworks)

Everyone ate the frangipan anyway, the good sports that they are.